1. I have a felony record and if you googled my real name you would probably fall out of your chair and run screaming down the street like you were on fire.
2. I tend to use colorful language from time to time and make not always popular observations about the world and the people in it.
3. I am deathly afraid that if I click on the monetize button that I will only be sponsored by porn sites and THAT is the last thing that I need my name associated with.
4. I like to say that I blog strictly for the enjoyment of sharing my snarky thoughts with the world, however with that being said – if the following companies want to pay me money to advertise on my blog (and hopefully soon to be improved website) then feel free to send me large amounts of cash (actually a check would be preferred – don’t want people thinking that I am associated with some drug cartel too). Here are my dream sponsors:
Franzia – because we all know that the best wines come in boxes !!!
Taco Bueno – because they have the Bueno Chilada platter and it is better than you know what on a stick … or in this case, you know what on a platter !
Any Glitter Company – because my ongoing good deeds will require copious amounts of glitter for my cardboard box in heaven !
Nissan – because all cool chicks drive Nissan Quest minivans !
Skippy Peanut Butter – because the phrase “Damn Jiff” just doesn’t sound right (damn Skippy !!)