- people don’t use the phrase “ain’t got none” every five minutes!
- children don’t leave open bags of pretzels on the counter for the resident mouse to snack on all night long!
- I have a job where I actually feel like I am making a difference in the world AND actually enjoy being at work!
- friends are true friends who stand by you no matter what and don’t leave you when you need them most!
- there are no such things as stomach problems, muscle cramps, and exhaustion from out of nowhere!
- I win the lottery and have no debt and can sit all day long and work on my nanowrimo project …. and then eat pretzels and ranch dip (oh wait … we are out of pretzels because the kids left them on the counter all night and the resident mouse snacked on them – dammit! – but wait …. in my new lottery winning world there will be an abundant supply of pretzels AND I will have my own house!)
- a lawyer that you paid over $40,000 is willing to answer one simple question FOR FREE!
- and oh yeah … world peace!
**exits stage left waving in the “washing windows” style and blowing kisses to the judges**