I just realized that I have gone the entire week without letting you know how my 20 year class reunion went last Saturday. I cannot apologize enough for causing you undue worry and stress over the lack of a recap, but I will make it up to you once I win the lottery and fly us all to VEGAS for a week.
Seeing people who basically treated you like crap after your scandal hit the news and wouldn’t have bothered to spit on you if you were on fire might not sound like a big fun time, but when you have recently lost close to 30 pounds (and look DAAAAAAAAAAAMN GOOD) and you have been to jail (and ain’t scared of any bitches) … IT IS!
I was one of the first people to arrive at the park (the first family even of the day), which made it that much more funner (yes, that IS a word), because I got to sit there and watch the reaction on people’s faces when they saw me and could actually see the realization of “oh my gawd, I can’t believe that SHE is here” show on their expressions.
In the off chance that somebody from my class will actually read these, I will refrain from being overly mean, but I will say this to any of them who come across this post:
“You hurt me. You really really hurt me. At the time when I needed friends the most, you gave up on me. Right when my world was falling apart and the thing that I needed most was understanding and somebody to listen, you dropped me. When times got tough for you, I was there. When you were going through rough times, I was there. When you celebrated your victories, I was there. Why couldn’t you have been there for me?”
I know that we can’t go back in time and change things, but I hope that you seeing me at the reunion makes you realize that I am not a monster. I hope that it makes you realize that I am still here and that just because you ignored me, it didn’t make me go away. Most of all, I hope that you realize that I am just fine without you. I have moved on. I have found new friends, ones who became my friends at the worst of my scandal, not ones that ran away because of it. I have found a peace in my life that only my situation could have brought me and even if I could, I wouldn’t change any of it. I have found myself and no matter how cruel you are, no matter what you say about me, no matter how many times you refuse to look me in the eye – you can’t take what I have found away. EVER.
So to you my former friends, I am grateful. You have helped to form me into what I am today … and the person that I am now is FANTABULOUS (too bad that you are missing out on knowing me).”
Love it!!! (not that they were mean, but that you’ve become an awesome person!)
…. and they were sooooooooo nice to me at the reunion … I wanted to say something bitchy to them, but didn’t think that it was the right time or place to do it.
I made one of the best friends I will EVER know in my life on one of the darkest most unholy day of my life.. we call each other Sister. REAL friends.. ones who do not judge you.. Sometimes they shine to light your way in the dark AND in the light.. the fair weather ones.. well.. they run for cover at the first hint of rain and OMG they would never stand with you in a storm..
Funny how we sometimes have to travel to HELL and back to learn this.. at least I did..
I am glad you were able to stand up straight and be proud of who you are.. You should be.
btw.. remind me to never.. and I mean NEVA!! tell you you made me cry.. I hit back.. lol
Oh me too, my bestest friend in the whole world (besides Derek) went through a situation similar to mine (with meds) and now we are so close – even though we have never met in person.
I applaud that you went and I’m sorry that it didn’t go well for you, that took some moxie. And your former peeps, they’d be biting my dust as i looked over my shoulder; see ya- don’t want to be near ya either, jerks!.
The reunion went great …. mostly because I had decided that even if it went horribly wrong, I still didn’t let them stop me from going.
Well done you. So very happy and proud that you didnt avoid the reunion.
Thank you – one of the things that I learned through Cognitive Behavorial Therapy is to stop avoiding the situations that cause anxiety and eventually they won’t trigger panic any more. It works !
Good for you!
Thank you – thank you! I was pretty damn proud of myself.