NEWS FLASH: TEENAGERS LIE !
If you are not familiar with our original issues with Facebook, read this:
http://slappyintheface.com/?p=1896 and then come back to this one.
I really don’t know what made me pick today to search for my son’s Facebook page …. maybe I was sick of giving him the benefit of the doubt about him actually forgetting his password. I don’t have Facebook (because I am evil and dangerous – muahahahaha), so I had my sister be sneaky for me. She found his page and the last time he has logged in was this past Tuesday. Wow! Really? Wouldn’t you think that it would be really tough to log into your Facebook page when YOU CAN’T REMEMBER YOUR PASSWORD???
Oh yes, the words “lying little shit” crossed my brain and the words “can’t remember his password … my ass”. Well, when I get home from work tonight, we are going to see how good his memory has suddenly become, because if he can’t instantly recall that password AND the password to his e-mail account then he won’t be leaving the house unless it is on fire … and even then it would have to be a major structure collapsing fire (ok- we would let him out if the house was on fire – Derek is a firefighter, so that would just look bad if we didn’t). However, the flames better be larger than the ones shooting out of my very angry head right now …. and that would be some big mamma jamma flames!
… and oh, get this. During her search for Bryce’s Facebook page …. she also found Riley’s !!! Evidently lying runs in the family!
I know a lot of parents who are wary of letting kids on FB. Ugh. I’m not looking forward to those days…
It is no fun whatsoever! I am so sick of the hearing the word “overbearing” being spewed from the mouth of a child that I can’t believe that I actually raised.
Time to play dumb…. do you know his email address? If not, causally ask for that… “I want to email you something really cool!”
Then a little later….. “Bryce, lets see if we can figure this out…. go to Facebook.com and see if they have a ‘forgot password’ option.” This way he can’t use “Well, I don’t remember my email address either…”
The problem here is if he becomes “smart” enough, he can virtually disappear on FB… I have my privacy settings set so high you can not search me. Even if you were to “friend” him on there, he can block you from seeing anything. I hope that doesn’t happen… kids don’t belong on FB without adult supervision… It reminds me of my BBS days… looking back, OMG I was an idiot…
Yeah, it is not going to be a fun conversation at our house. He logged in from an IPhone at a time when we think he was home, so he might have an IPhone that we don’t even know about – which opens up a whole new can of worms!
Yikes! No fun to deal with. I pod touches show up as an i phone when you log into facebook, just fyi in case he/a friend has one of those.
Every single one of his friends have phones that have Internet access – he is the only “loser” (his words, not mine) who has a regular phone. Because of my situation, Derek and I just know way too much about how easily a teenager can be prosecuted for doing something stupid. When Bryce moves out he can have whatever kind of phone he wants and can do whatever he wants to do on it, but until then – he is my responsibility (to a point) and I am going to protect him from himself as much as possible.
Oh, I wasn’t trying to say anything bad. I just recently learned myself that facebook recognizes the itouch as an iphone, so I didn’t know if you knew. That’s all I meant. I can’t even imagine trying to parent a bunch of teenagers. You’re doing great.
Oh I know that you weren’t saying anything bad. Thanks for the tip. We suspect that he is using one of his friend’s phones to log into Facebook, but he does have an older Itouch …. and we do have wireless (even though the gateway is locked), so we had to check and make sure that he wasn’t logging into our wireless gateway somehow. I would hate to think of what he would be looking at online in the middle of the night …. eeeeeeewwwww!
Kids make my brain hurt. This is why I don’t have them, lol. Sorry you’re having to deal with all this. I was a total shit when I was a teenager, and I’ve apologized to my parents for that.
Like a great friend of mine always says, “We should have got a goldfish instead”.
Every time I read your posts it reminds me how happy I am that mine are all grown and gone! LOL. When my kids were living at home it was MySpace that I was constantly blocking from the computer.
I am so going to invite you to go with us to VEGAS after the twins graduate …. and no talking about kids allowed!
Outright forbidding things (reasonable things, at least) always seems dangerous. I disagree with your decision the same way I disagree with teaching children abstinence. It just doesn’t work. If you simply say “no” you will get what you are getting — kids who sneak behind your back. Give them some freedom and guide them; teach them the dangers and risks and set limitations but allow them to explore.
I guess a drastic comparison: Take two sets of parents. Set A absolutely forbids drinking. Absolutely not allowed– if they find out, punishments will be extreme. No exceptions. Set B acknowledges that their 18 year old will probably come in contact with alcohol. They only ask their child to make safe decisions and they teach what those decisions are. That child winds up at a party, a little too drunk. The child of Set A is going to be far too scared to call his parents for help. He is the one more likely to not tell his parents where he is, and either drive drunk or get in a car with someone who is drunk. Child of set Set B will more willing to contact his parents for help.
I have read stories of many kids who died because they lied to their parents about where they were and who they were with. Your kid will be less likely to lie if you don’t make him feel like he has to.
That’s just it – we haven’t forbidden him from having a Facebook page. We have also had very blunt discussion with our kids about sex and drinking. We aren’t naive. We understand that anything that we forbid them to do, they are just going to sneak around and do anyway. We learned that lesson the hard way when we “forbid” our daughter from dating “the loser” …. and now she lives with him.
The purpose of us asking to see his Facebook page is to protect him from himself. I know that it might be hard to believe, but the average 17 year old is NOT the brighest bulb in the chandelier.
Oh lord, I am going to cling to my delusion that Emerson will never grow up and get bigger.
Start sending him unconscious messages in his sleep by whispering things like “your mother is always right”, “girls are evil”, and “stay in school”. Of course, that might mean that he will live with you forever and want to join book clubs with you instead of dating …. so nevermind … scratch that idea.
I hate kids….can I say that here? Is this a safe place?…
This IS a safe place. Want to join me in my fort made of wine boxes?
Hi,
I can actually have adult conversations with them, too! 
I have two kids who are on facebook and since they are minors, I have a set rule with them… First, I am your friend on there so I CAN monitor your page (for your own safety) and Second… the minute you hide things from me on your facebook (by either blocking me or etc.) I am cancelling your account. And yes, I do have their passwords. I must say, too, that my kids are really really great sports and are very cooperative when it comes to all that social media in today’s society. We are also a very open family when it comes to communication between us all so we discuss everything that comes up… never shut the door on something they might bring up just because they are “kids”. We also had talks about saftey on the internet in todays society in general, who they can be friends with on facebook (like ONLY people they actually know personally, etc), and limited info on their info pages so it’s not public. And private profiles, so searchability is limited as much as possible. So I do think that being open with kids and always having open communication with them about anything and everything and not outright forbidding them things just because they are “kids” makes a huge difference. At least I can say it works really well in my family. Gives them responsibility and respect and then we get respect back in return.