The last few weeks have hit me really hard. I cry on the way home from work. I cry myself to sleep. I cried this morning when I kissed my daughter bye.
I am exhausted. I have fought this fight for the past five years and I am tired of fighting. I know that I can’t give up, but sometimes I really just want to be left alone.
I tell myself that maybe all of this happened so that I can share my story … so that I can change the world. I tell myself that, but sometimes I don’t believe it.
Last night it hit me that wallowing in all of this isn’t going to change it and allowing myself to sink into a depression hole isn’t going to help me or my family.
So I am going to start taking a little better care of myself and going to continue to fight the good fight.
I am going to take my vitamins every night.
I am going to drink more water and less Dr. Pepper.
I am going to cut back on the “weekend drinks”. I usually only have one or two drinks on the weekend, but I can see that they are becoming a crutch and I am using them to numb myself from my problems …. like the old addicted me used to.
I am going to get plenty of sleep.
I am going to spend more time out in the sunshine.
I am going to use my face cream and my bottle of “turkey neck be gone”.
I am going to stay away from negative people.
I am going to keep fighting.
You have hit my nail right on the head! Would you like a new friend to commiserate with…to vent to…to laugh at ourselves and our turkey necks with? I went so far as to make an appt with those HRC people on Monday…you are NOT alone! You’ve got my email and my Twitter stuff, would love to meet.
Hang in there sister and I will too.
Thank you for being brave enough to write what I’ve been too chicken to express on my blog.
I admire your candor.
Rose Marie B recently posted..My Name is Rose and I’m Addicted to Twitter
Throught all of the crap that I have been through, I have learned to say what I mean and to not hold back what I really think. It has completely changed the way I communicate with people … for the better.
DAMN RIGHT
CHOOSE SOME HAPPY!!
Black Sheep
black sheep recently posted..Could be aliens in my brain stem..
I would settle for some “content” … but “happy” works too.
All you can do is take it one day at a time and one battle at a time but hell I know what it feels like when it seems that all the battles want to come one on top of the other and we just want to crawl into bed and hide from the world……or is that just something I feel like doing…………..often………..
I really should eat breakfast every day and not only when I remember I get so caught up reading emails and blogs and forget about breakfast like today I have been up 3 hours and still haven’t had breakfast although I have taken my morning tablets.
Jo-Anne recently posted..Your Last 24 Hours…………………
Yes, my battles seem to be stacking up. Just when I thought that things were headed our direction, new problems showed up. Taking a deep breath and NOT giving up.
Choose you. Every day. Good luck!
Leanne recently posted..600 Reasons why Moms Drink – Reason 102
I have been taking my vitamins AND using my “turkey neck be gone” AND I wore my mouth guard last night so I wouldn’t grind my teeth.
I think I am going to join you.
I am going to join you.
I will start tomorrow.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
Happy Birthday, Me!!
Patricia Blomeley-Maddigan recently posted..Book Review: ‘”The Girl in the Box’” by author Sheila Dalton
I hope that you had a wonderful birthday !! Thanks for reading. I am glad that you are going to take better care of yourself too.
NEVER forget to take good care of yourself… you should always be priority #1 (to a certain extent) because if you aren’t in good health (mentally AND physically) then you won’t be able to take care of the people who need you. i too found myself leaning on my evening drinks a little too much lately- i think it’s also the reason for my recent weight gain. i’ve stopped buying alcoholic beverages except on holidays. *sigh* sad sacrifice, but necessary in order to head off any major problems. i also stopped buying sodas a while ago… i’ve found that pouring out my daily allowance of water into 1 container then trying to finish it before bed works better than just saying “drink more”. good luck changing things for the better. you can do it!
and yes, i finally did blog my 6 words yesterday.
i even linked to you a couple times. 
Nobody recently posted..6 Words
I completely understand what you mean by “evening drinks” … it’s one thing that I am cutting back on.
Heading over now to read your “6 Words” post.
Beautifully said. More power to you in your fight.
misssrobin recently posted..Tag — I’m It!
Thank you. I will keep on fighting!
I’m thankful that you share your story…It helps me know that I am not alone, not the only one living through things like this….it is very very comforting.
You are brave! Brave to write things down…this may seem trivial, but it is not.
writing things down is a great step! even if we do not do the things we wish to do, it is ONE step…and then the next day we can take the next step and then so on and so on! My own idea is to drink at least equal the amount of coffee I drink to water! For every cup of coffee I drink, I shall drink at least one cup of water!
You are NOT alone!
Slappy…. you were there for me recently… I’m here for you too, ‘officially’ now. Just to let you know I’m reading, and appreciating, and pulling for you. YOU DO have a ton going on right now. You are so clearly doing your best. Don’t forget to take a break if you need to. Everything can wait (even if it doesn’t seem like it can). Nobody’s happy if mamma ain’t happy…
and sorry… somehow I got to your Feb posts when I meant to comment on this weeks’.