The last few weeks have hit me really hard. I cry on the way home from work. I cry myself to sleep. I cried this morning when I kissed my daughter bye.
I am exhausted. I have fought this fight for the past five years and I am tired of fighting. I know that I can’t give up, but sometimes I really just want to be left alone.
I tell myself that maybe all of this happened so that I can share my story … so that I can change the world. I tell myself that, but sometimes I don’t believe it.
Last night it hit me that wallowing in all of this isn’t going to change it and allowing myself to sink into a depression hole isn’t going to help me or my family.
So I am going to start taking a little better care of myself and going to continue to fight the good fight.
I am going to take my vitamins every night.
I am going to drink more water and less Dr. Pepper.
I am going to cut back on the “weekend drinks”. I usually only have one or two drinks on the weekend, but I can see that they are becoming a crutch and I am using them to numb myself from my problems …. like the old addicted me used to.
I am going to get plenty of sleep.
I am going to spend more time out in the sunshine.
I am going to use my face cream and my bottle of “turkey neck be gone”.
I am going to stay away from negative people.
I am going to keep fighting.