The first thing I said to the program director at the meeting yesterday was, “We aren’t the kind of parents who would ever say “oh our kid would NEVER do something like that”, because we know that they can and they have”. She smiled. She said that she could tell that she was going to get along with us reeeeeeeeeeeeally well. We smiled.
No kid is perfect. No parent is perfect. We all make mistakes.
The meeting calmed me and broke my heart and gave me hope. We have failed in so many ways, but we haven’t given up.
Derek and I are seriously afraid that if Bryce stays in town then he will continue to hang out with the kids who are bad influences on him and the kids that he is a bad influence on. We feel that his only chance right now is to get out. So we asked about boot camp.
There is one … but the kicker is that he has to agree to go to it. They can’t force him to go.
I mentioned it to him this morning, without going into too much detail. He seemed interested, but then he asked me how he would get spending money and my heart dropped … again. If he doesn’t get his shit straight in a hurry then he is headed for a prison cell and the only thing that he seems worried about is having money to go Taco Bell.
I didn’t say anything else to him about it. I will let the program director, the Juvenile Officer, the District Attorney and the other members of the panel (which includes a county jail employee, the school principal, the school superintendent, two cops, and two other members of the community) try to talk some sense into him. I wish them the best of luck on that!
The program director said that she has six kids going before the panel tonight, including our two sons, so we should expect to be there at least three hours. Doesn’t that sound like a fun way to spend a Friday night?
Sending all my positive mojo to both of your sons during their panel reviews. Sounds intense.
Thank you. It went well for one of them …. not so well for the other one.
I’m praying over you and your sons right now. I have a 14 year old son, I mentioned before, and I can only imagine how you feel. Keep up the good fight.
Vanessa recently posted..Crooked
I sooooooooooooooooo hope that your son doesn’t make decisions that mine has. Bryce’s crappy attitude is sooooooooooooo exhausting.
I’ve commented a few times and felt compelled to comment on this as well. I think we’d be friends IRL. Parents who blindly think their kids can do no wrong drive me nuts. People make mistakes – doesn’t matter if they are kids or adults – human nature dictates that we all make mistakes in our lives. Do we learn from those mistakes? Sometimes. But sometimes we also have to make mistake after mistake after mistake to learn. Your sons may not realize it now, but I guarantee they will some day, that you love them. Parents who love their children don’t make excuses for them – they make their children own up to their own mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. Your sons will thank you someday for the way you are handling this situation. Unfortunately that knowledge doesn’t make right now any easier, but just know that this mom thinks you are showing your children just how much you do love them.
We have a lot of hope that this will make Riley an even better person, but after the panel stuff on Friday, we have no hope left for Bryce.
((hugs)) with chocolate!!
… and boxed wine?
I hope he agree to go to the boot camp I think it would be the best thing for him and for you and Derek
Jo-Anne recently posted..Forgiveness
I agree. If they don’t take him, then I have lost all hope.
I didn’t want to respond because I know you feel you have no options and this is a last resort. But I feel compelled; please be sure you check out this boot camp thoroughly. Make sure they’re not or haven’t been in the past under investigation or haven’t been sued and settled out of court (not sure how you do that if records are sealed), etc. Some boot camps are probably great, but some have killed children too. Most people don’t believe it can happen (just like SSRI’s don’t make people crazy) but it does.
If your kids go and they tell you they’re being abused, don’t automatically dismiss what they say, it could be true.
I’m sorry to put this out there. I know you’re worried enough. But remember how you wish you were warned about Paxil?
I completely understand. We have done some research and this one if very well thought of and seems to have a great program. It is military sanctioned, which would give him the opportunity to enlist right after he finished the program. There is actually a waiting list to get in, so he might not even be accepted.
I know you feel hopeless about this, but don’t give up on your son. There are times when giving up seems like the only thing left but you have to remember that if you lose hope for your son, who will hope for him? I’m sorry you’re struggling with all of this. Sometimes being a parent just sucks! Hugs (and chocolate and wine) to you!
Cristy recently posted..Pardon Me While I Gush