I am a planner. I have tried to stop overplanning everything, but its been a tough battle. I write lists and rewrite lists and then rewrite those lists. It bothers me when things don’t work out like I thought they would. I have always been this way, but it went into hyperdrive when I was on Paxil and any small OCD tendencies were magnified a million times over. It’s been nearly five years since I stopped taking that stuff, but some of the behaviors are still there.
So when I start to make a grocery list and clip coupons, I have to take a deep breath and not picture the entire grocery shopping trip in my mind. It’s hard to do.
With the stress that we are currently having, writing out a grocery list the other night and clipping coupons for two hours while I watched Season 1 of The Good Wife on DVD seriously relaxed me. I didn’t obsess over any of it, but the familiarity of the list making and the nerdiness of getting excited over a new Country Crock coupon made me calm for a little while.
I don’t really know where I was headed with this post other than to say that I am aware of the things that I need to work on and sometimes the things that used to make me crazy can still be a source of calmness for an almost sane person.