I posted about a month ago on how my drinking was starting to scare me and I have been doing sooooooooooo much better. I am recognizing my drinking triggers and have cut waaaaaaaaaaay back. I pretty much only have one or two drinks a week now and I have stopped feeling like I “need” a drink instead of just wanting one.
I know that some people believe that a former alcoholic is always an alcoholic. I don’t believe that. My drinking in the past was a physical craving brought on by Paxil (and is now a documented side effect on the prescription hand-outs at pharmacies) that was compounded by a “don’t give a damn attitude” (also brought on by Paxil).
The drinking issue that I was having lately was brought on by stress and me not finding a healthier way to deal with it.
Anywho … last night I had a drink, Simply Lemonade with Raspberry mixed with Razzmatazz (raspberry flavored liquor). I don’t know if it was the kind of liquor, the fact that I have been cutting back, or something that had nothing to do with the alcohol at all … but I had a horrible night last night.
When I did sleep it was nightmares and when I didn’t sleep it was panic attacks with a side order of the “if only” game and the “what if” game. NOT A FUN NIGHT!
Lesson learned ….. NO MORE RAZZMATAZZ !!!