Kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder have problems with being social. Teenagers sometimes have problems being social. Teenagers with Reactive Attachment Disorder REALLY have problems with being social.
Riley tends to lack the ability to have “normal” conversations with people. Most of the time what he considers a conversation turns into a confrontation of some sort where he proceeds to tell the other person how wrong they are and how right he is. It’s actually heartbreaking to watch. We haven’t given up hope that he will get past it some day and we are still working on it, but sometimes we just have to shake our heads at it.
For example:
Riley goes to a local church with a friend. He attends services there every Wednesday night and every Sunday morning. We haven’t told our kids which church to attend since Derek and I stopped going to church in 2008 (after we were shunned). Out of four kids that live at home; three of them attend three different churches. That’s fine.
However, Riley tends to grab on to things like a bulldog and won’t let go - no matter what.
He seems to have done that with church and the beliefs of the church that he attends, beliefs that Derek and I don’t necessarily agree with, but are not arguing with him about. Almost every conversation with him lately turns towards God and church and Bible verses. We realize that some of this is just normal teenager “finding my way” kind of stuff, so we let it go as long as we can.
Rachel, oldest girl child, has had at least one of the other kids spend the night with her EVERY SINGLE NIGHT since she broke up with her boyfriend two months ago. We knew that she was scared to be by herself so we allowed it during the summer months. Last week I suggested that Riley go stay with her one night. He did.
Right before they were headed to bed he asked her if she had any olive oil. She naturally questioned what he needed it for.
“To spread in front of the doorway so demons can’t get in.”
She said, “nope … don’t have any olive oil, but it’ll be okay … they won’t get in.”
He looked her square in the eye and said, “well with the kind of music you listen to, they are probably after you.”
So Derek and I had a lovely conversation with Riley on Tuesday night about him not judging people and how he doesn’t have to agree with other people’s religious beliefs, but they don’t have to agree with his either. We also (kindly) informed him that he didn’t have any right to talk to her about her music choices when he listens to Eminem, plays violent video games, and watches Family Guy.
It might be a little while before he goes back to Rachel’s.
I’m glad you had the talk with him. Did he have any response when you suggested that his entertainment sources were as “questionable” as his sister’s choices?
Cristy recently posted..Giving You The Bird
All he said was “I know”. We brought it all up in a casual way so he wouldn’t feel attacked by what we had to say. We will see how it goes.
Tell him to read Leviticus and then get back to you.
I will leave it at that, you know how I feel about the whole thing.