When something bad happens to you and that something bad can be partially attributed to one person, the automatic human response is to want something bad to happen to that person in return. I felt that way for a brief moment when “my mess” first started, until I realized what the real cause was (thank you very much Paxil and Ambien).
Something bad has happend to a very key player in my situation and all I can feel is sadness for that person. I guess that means that I’ve moved on. It might mean that I’ve lived with it for so long that I’m numb to it. I don’t really know.
At least you don’t feel “yeah, karma bitch”. That’s how I’d feel. Everyone makes mistakes, chemically-induced or otherwise. Life goes on. I don’t know the person you used to be but I like the one I know now (not IRL but maybe someday). I think she’s a kick-ass bitch with an awesome husband and 5 mostly-good kids. Sounds like a pretty decent chick to me:) All the best to you and your family this weekend!!
Thank you so much!
I’ve come so far.
The cause of your problems wasn’t Paxil and ambien. The cause was you. I love your blog, but you just don’t seem to take responsibility for your past. It’s like an alcoholic who blames the alcohol.
Have you read the warnings they are now required to place on SSRI and sleeping medication literature? It is NOT the same as an alcoholic blaming the alcohol. SSRIs make very serious changes to how a person’s brain works and can cause personalities to completely change. It doesn’t happen to everyone, but it does happen. If my personality on Paxil was the real me, then why don’t I have those behaviors now that I’ve been off of it for over 5 years? THIS is the real me and I am so very happy that I don’t take those pills anymore.
I have come too far to let your nasty comment deter my recovery. If you don’t agree with what I have to say then don’t visit my site.
Respectfully, “anonymous”, you are wrong. Slappy has taken absolute responsibility for her actions. The cause of her actions was indeed the Paxil and the Ambien. My husband and many other people I know have had many problems because of these drugs. The drug companies fully admit, although not publicly, that their drugs cause the kind of side effects Slappy and so many other people have experienced. So in her defense, you can suck it.
Read the book Medication Madness by Dr. Peter Breggin … it might change your mind
http://www.amazon.com/Medication-Madness-Psychiatric-Violence-Suicide/dp/031256550X
I didn’t know I had to agree with everything you post. Now I understand.
You don’t have to agree with everything I post, but for you to attack something that I know to be fact and tell me that I should blame only myself for the tragic things that have happened to me is wrong. You obviously don’t have anybody close to you who has had the type of reaction that I did to an SSRI mixed with a sleeping pill and I hope and pray that you never do. If you had lived the hell that I’ve lived then you would understand.
Of course I blame myself. I blame myself every single day for the things that have happened, but I also remember the monster I was when I was on meds and that monster is NOT the real me.
Amity, I appreciate your respectful response.
I didnt’t mean to attack you. I was just offering my perspective. I do have experience with SSRI’s but not the experience you have had. I wouldn’t for one minute want to make you feel bad. I’m a stranger with an opinion.
I apologize for my response. This is a very important subject to me and I can’t tell you how many times I have wished that I had never taken that prescription. Like I said, it doesn’t happen to everybody, but it does happen. I am just lucky enough to have not been one of the people who had reactions where they murdered someone.
Paxil made me beyond crazy and my husband was sooooooooo close to divorcing me before I was arrested. I almost lost it all.
Thank you for response. I will keep reading your blog because I find you funny, smart, and very interesting. As far as my lack of understanding the medication and your situation, I needed to say what I was thinking.
Anonymous,
Mental illness is often described as a chemical imbalance in the brain. The illness can take the form of clinical depression (often unable to particpate in daily activities), anxiety (sometimes so filled with fear that they turn to self destructive behavior), schitzophrenia (honestly believing the voices in their head are real and following their directives), etc. For some, left untreated or improperly treated, they are hardly able to function and will do things that are inappropriate or even criminal, because they cannot control the imbalance that is causing their behaviors. How could you chastize them for the decisions that THEY make and the way they live? Their lives are being run by a system in the body that is not functioning properly. Blaming them for poor life choices is like blaming someone with a bad heart for not being able to keep up with you while out walking. Slappy’s past mental illness was caused by her taking drugs that CAUSED an imbalance in her brain. She was MENTALLY ILL. She got off the meds, her brain became balanced, and she returned to the Slappy she was before meds. She accepts responsibilty very freely and openly on her site for her actions while she was chemically imbalanced. She says time and time again that it was the drugs that caused her to act the way that she did, but that it does not excuse her behaviors.
Thank you Jennifer! You said it all so much better than I ever could have.
Thanks. I’m certainly no expert, but my stepdaughter is bipolar and I know what she is like unmedicated (or improperly medicated); her life is hell and so is that of the people who spend time around her. She does some really “crazy” things that she just can’t help doing and usually feels really bad about them later on, when she is balanced. I know that if there are medications out there that can make things right for her, they could certainly make things very wrong for others.
Thank you again. It is very hard for people who haven’t lived it or had a loved one live it to believe that it can really happen. Non-believers should just ask Derek how crazy I was on those meds.