A few weeks ago my 53 year old cousin died suddenly from a massive heart attack.  His dad, my dad’s brother, had asked him to get fuel for some of the equipment on their farm.  He was doing just that when he died.  His dad found him the next day.  He had been there all night.  It’s so tragic on so many levels and as a family we are struggling with the why of it.  His daughter, who has four beautiful little girls, said that for some strange reason she felt that she had to have a birthday party for him just weeks before he died and now she understood where the feeling came from.  Pictures of him and his granddaughters were in the slide show they played at the family visitation at the funeral home, pictures from that birthday party.
It was so wonderful to see cousins and family that I hadn’t seen for years, even though us finally being back together was for an absolutely awful reason.  I tried to make polite conversation as much as possible, but I sometimes get nervous and tend to ramble out things I probably shouldn’t.  After the funeral I made a point of introducing my oldest daughter, Rachel, to one of my cousins.  Then I went on and on about how Rachel was about to turn 21 and how she wanted us to take her to Vegas.  I then proceeded in length to talk about the things that people typically do in Vegas … you know the drinking and the hooker cards (not that we’ve ever actually called those numbers, but we do bring some back to give to people just so we can see the looks on their faces) and the gambling and you know …. sinning in general.  My cousin just stood there and nodded and smiled.  I told her that I would make a point of getting her address from my aunt and would start sending her Christmas cards each year.  She nodded and smiled.

That evening as I was flipping through channels, I had the bright idea to Google her name.  It turns out that she is fairly well known ….. IN THE MINISTRY INDUSTRY !!! 



Now I understand the smiling and nodding.

I really should stop talking to people.

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