Maybe it’s the worrier that is me. Maybe it’s the control freak. Maybe it’s the control freak that worries about being a worrying control freak. Whatever it is … it’s so damn annoying … my need to micromanage other people’s lives … and it has to stop.
When you have five small children then you have to micromanage everything they do, because they sure don’t remember to take showers on their own. So I’m thinking that it’s just a habit that I have to break myself of. I know that it will reduce my stress level considerably if I can just let it go and let people deal with their own consequences, but it always comes back to our lives in some way. Here’s just a few examples:
Situation #1 – My parents moved into our rent house exactly one block from our house about a year ago. Well my father in his cheapiness decided that he would have the gas shut off in the summer so they wouldn’t have to pay the minimum charge … so the gas company pulled the meter. It’s now going to be in the twenties at night and we don’t know if the gas has been turned back on for the heater. If they lived in somebody else’s house then we wouldn’t care … but they live in ours. Note to my readers: NEVER NEVER NEVER RENT TO A RELATIVE !!! Did I say NEVER … oh wait … I mean’t NEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER !!!
So this afternoon I get to have another crappy conversation with my mother about how we are NOT paying for another pressure test if the gas company requires it because we already paid for one when they moved in. Part of me is hoping that they end up so mad at us that they refuse to come with us to eat Thanksgiving dinner … yes I’m a bad daughter … blah blah blah.
Situation #2 – Oldest girl child and her boyfriend moved to a little house (also a block away from us – damn I can’t get away from these people) a few months ago. Even though they have fought continuously for the whole ten months they’ve been together, they thought “hey … we are miserable and hate each other … but wait … we’re in looooooooove .. let’s be miserable while living together!” Well big shocker here … they broke up last week! He moved out all of his stuff and she is now working three jobs while looking for a roommate, because she can’t afford to live there on her own. Oh wait … did I mention that’s she’s “buying” a car from his sister and she hasn’t paid for all of it yet and she doesn’t have the title in her name.
We tried to send her texts with advice like “maybe you should find a cheaper place to live” and “maybe you should get a bank loan for that car and get the title in your name”. These were met with either silence or crappy responses, so I sent back “it’s your life, from now on we are staying out of it – we love you” … and we haven’t said another thing about it.
But when you have grown kids that you worry about all the damn time, it’s hard to just walk away from the worry. It’s even harder to bite your tongue, keep your mouth shut and not micromanage their lives so that they get things done … aka babysitting.
I had another situation or two but damn, I’m tired from just typing up those two so the others will wait. I’m going to go call my sister’s mother (yes, she’s actually mine too) and then buy a box of wine.