Oh I don’t know where to even start this one. If I had written it yesterday afternoon when I was so mad that I couldn’t see straight then it might have been a different post, but I went to yoga class last night after work and gained a little perspective … so here goes.
At my heaviest, I weighed 233 pounds. That was the Paxilated me who would drink a loooot of vodka every night and eat entire bags of chips every single day. I lost about 20 pounds when I was going through withdrawal without really trying … guess that’s the bonus of withdrawal … damn those pukey mornings sure came in handy. Then a few years ago I signed up for Weight Watchers and lost more weight, getting down to 180-183. Then I got lazy and unmotivated and more lazy and gained back 15 pounds.
Fast forward to six months or so ago and I started getting serious about counting points again. Ta-da! I’m now 2 pounds away from a total 60 pound weight loss. So my goal is to get to the 173 mark and maintain it. I’m proud of myself. I’ve worked hard to get here … but you know what happens when good things start happening to people. Oh yeah … you know what I mean. There always has to be some person to come along and say bitchy things just to try to make you feel worse. The very definition of a “bully”.
I found out yesterday that somebody who thinks they know me is telling people that the only reason I lost weight and the reason I take my whole lunch hours now is because I’m running around. At first I thought it was funny … mostly because “running around” would require me to shave my legs up past my knees. Then I was pissed. Really pissed. After the shitstorm that Derek and I have been through, I would NEVER do something like that to him or the relationship we have now. I even told him last night what they said and his answer was “who gives a shit what they think”. Damn I love that man!
Yes, I have lost weight and yes, I’m happy with how I look now and yes, I have been taking my whole lunch hours now instead of eating at my desk playing on the computer. Why? Because I know that my life isn’t going to change just because I want it to. I have to do something about it. So I am.
Derek and I are building up two businesses and working to get out of debt, so every single lunch hour for the past few weeks has been devoted to those businesses. I love doing it. It’s keeping me busy. I’m good at it.
So last night during the calm part of yoga, I prayed for the person who said things. Prayed that they would work on their own life and stay out of mine. Prayed that they would be in some way humbled. Prayed that they would change … because I can’t change them. Prayed that they would get hit by a … wait … no I didn’t. Nevermind. Carry on. Nothing to see here.