Big D and I were perfect parents … before we had children. We would mock kids in grocery stores who had screaming fits like they were possessed over a candy bar. We would swear that we would never never never tell our poor little children to “SHUT UP!”. We would calmly explain to people how we would only feed our children healthy food and we would say things like “we would never let our child do this or that or that instead”. We were idiots. In fact, we still are … gigantic idiots of the highest degree.
For years, we’ve told people that we would NEVER let our kids move back home after they moved out. It wouldn’t be fair for the kids still living at home and it wouldn’t be fair to Big D and I, who want to have a life of our own after the kids are all grown.
Weeeeeeell … the day that younger twin child turned 18 (at around midnight) her and her oldest sister show up at the house and Beth (younger twin child) asks me “what do you think about me moving in with big sissy?”. I probably should have paused for at least a second, but instead I blurted out, “I think it’s a ridiculously stupid idea”. That did NOT go over well and “big sissy” proceeded to rant in high pitched tones to me, which ended in Big D very calmly, yet loudly, asking her to leave the house. She got the point.
So Beth and Emily (other twin child) then packed up all of Beth’s stuff in black, plastic trash bags, hauled it out to the driveway and waited for “big sissy” to come get her. We weren’t at all surprised, it had been coming for months.
Fast forward to three weeks later and Beth is walking bare footed down a dirt road, hysterically crying into her cell phone begging Emily to come get her. Yep … you guessed it … we guessed it. It needed to happen.
So now Beth is “renting” our apartment in the backyard from us, because we (sort of) stuck to our rule about not letting the kids move back home and because we had already turned her room into the “dog room”. Yes, we are those kind of people – the kind that would force their kid to learn a lesson and prefer to keep the dogs in the house rather than their own child (the dogs don’t have drama, don’t leave dirty dishes and dirty clothes everywhere, and they don’t stay up until all hours of the night talking loudly on their phones, running up and down the stairs, or slamming doors).
Yep … we are idiots.Slappy aka Gina aka Bitchy McSlappywine