Lost

He asked “what’s wrong?”

I told him that it’s impossible to describe.  I just feel lost and don’t know how to find myself.

I know it will pass.  I started feeling it on Sunday.  This overwhelming sense of dread. It’s a behavior I learned from my mother.  Not genetic … very much learned.    The fear that something bad was about to happen, because FINALLY things seemed to be going well.

… and then it did.  Just one phone call on Monday morning and my world flipped upside down .. again.

For days I’ve been walking around on the edge of tears.  On the edge of screaming.  On the edge of smashing things.  On the edge of unknown.

I know it will pass.  I don’t need pills.  I do need sleep.  It will pass.  Things will change … they always do.  Then we will move on to the next disaster and endure that one too.

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