Snarky Goodness

Air Fresheners For Men

We stock up on soap from Bath and Body Works whenever it is on sale (and it is RIGHT NOW!).  So I picked out some new smelly good scents and even allowed D to pick some (and then I put the ones that he picked back on the shelf and got more that I liked – sssssshhhhh).  Anywho – last night he informed me that manly men do not like to wash their hands with soap that smells like oatmeal raisin cookies.  WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

Him:  This stuff stinks.  Why can’t you buy stuff that doesn’t smell like cookies or candy or flowers or the ocean?

Me:  Because they don’t make soaps, lotions, candles, and room sprays that smell like manly things.

Him:  I bet they do.

Me:  I bet they don’t …. besides when you smell like cookies and ocean waves, it makes women want to cuddle with you.

Him: You are NOT helping your argument here.

So D and I have decided that we need to start our own line of manly scented home fragrance products called ….. wait for it …. wait for it …… “Mandles”.

I know … perfect huh!

These are the scents that we will be launching with:

Lumberjack – the perfect blend of pine trees mixed with moss with just a hint of flannel

Mud, Sweat & Gears – the greasy scent of oily garage floor blended with the sting of gasoline and the earthy scent of dirt

Grill Drippings – Undertones of charcoal balanced with the aroma of perfectly seasoned steak and hamburgers

Quit Your Bitchin Woman! – an infusion of Mountain Dew perfectly merged with the new plastic smell of a remote control, barbecue ribs, and potato chips

Manly – because every man’s home needs the smells of burps, farts, and recently scratched things (complete with a recording of “That was a good one” every time it’s lit)

Perfect Chick – the calming scent of vanilla mingled with the smell of fresh laundry and freshly cooked bacon

… if you would like to add any fragrances to the line, just let me know.


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27 thoughts on “Air Fresheners For Men”

    1. I totally want the Mud, Sweat, & Gears mandle for myself! I have fond memories of working with my dad in the garage (even eventually building my own lawn mower engine) when I was a kid. Grease, oil, gasoline, and other garage scents are heavenly. 😀

      I’d also definitely buy it for my dad.

  1. Oh you and your fancy words. I am from Oklahoma … we don’t have soil here …. we have dirt (lots and lots and lots of dirt).

  2. My dad (and pretty much everyone on his side) is a mechanic… he always smells like motor oil, which oddly enough when you grow up around it, it’s kind of nice… :p “Ode De Auto”

    1. I had to add in the vanilla. The smell of laundry detergent and bacon together might be so strong that the men would just pass out (with happiness).

  3. Oh My…your missing one of the BEST..
    Smells like a barn.. Hay.. a horse.. some cow stuff and a touch of grain and molasses…
    and should be put on after a shave and is called Cowboy. YeeHaw!!

  4. The Sgt. is a mechanic, too. So the smell of motor oil and sexy, sexy sweat is always in my nose. Who knew that those 2 smells would turn me on! 🙂

    Oh, and sign us up for a large order of Grill Drippings. We dig that smell ’round here. 🙂

    You could add fresh cut grass to your list. Fresh cut grass with a hint of Natural Light and sweaty balls.

    xoxo

  5. This is HILARIOUS!!!! I have to send this to my husband!

    “Manly – because every man’s home needs the smells of burps, farts, and recently scratched things (complete with a recording of “That was a good one” every time it’s lit)”

    LOVE it!

    1. They must love the smell of themselves, because that is exactly what the house would smell like if us women folk didn’t buy candles and air fresheners that smelled like candy, cookies, and flowers.

      Thanks for reading and commenting …. be sure to spread the link to my page around (like manure on a flower bed).

  6. I just made a big deal one time when my husband used my citrus soap about how good he smelled and how I couldn’t stop sniffing him. Suddenly all the bitching about having pink soap stopped, and my soap got used up twice as fast! [Note: I like glycerin soaps, especially with natural food-y fragrances… they don’t taste as soapy when skin gets licked… if you know what I mean.]

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