Slappy

Chicks Cannot Get Enough of His Ma-Cheez-Whiz

 

For those of you who don’t know Derek personally, he is 220 pounds of pure manliness. When we first got married he was so thin and trim that we had to special order his Wranglers because nobody carried a 28 inch waist with a 38 inch inseam. He was in cowboy mode then and his shirts had to be pressed just so and his jeans had to be long enough to “break” a certain way on the top of his foot. He also NEVER left the house without a cowboy hat (straw in the summer and wool in the winter). He was a site to behold !
Well 18 years later, he is still a sight to behold – in a difference way. Don’t get me wrong – I find slightly paunchy, bald men who wear shirts normally reserved for elderly Spanish men very attractive. It just amazes me how his attitude about his appearance has only gotten more comfortable as he has gained weight and lost hair. When he was slim and trim, he was very shy around people. Now that he is “more robust” he is friendlier and a lot more outgoing. Maybe it’s the Santa Claus theory – being more round might just make you more jolly.
Well last night he went to the grocery store to get a few things that we were missing for dinner. My sister and her family were all coming over for a mexican meal and we needed more cheese and some sour cream. When he came back from the store, he had a huge grin plastered on his face. He said “you know that new chick that works at the grocery store – she was checking me out”. My response was “oh really”. I found it a little hard to believe that the “new chick” just couldn’t take her eyes off of my 38 year old, bald, hunk of a man. He started laughing “yep – she was taking my items and running them across the scanner and then she told me my total – she was sooooooo checking me out”. Isn’t he cute ? Then he started dancing around the kitchen like a former Chippendale who had had a few too many drinks and said “Oh yeah – chicks can’t get enough of my machismo”. I quickly burst his bubble when I said “honey – yours is more like Ma-Cheez-Whiz”.

 

 


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