Motivation to Change

Leave It Alone

There are very few things on this wonderful, rotating planet that get better when you continue to bother them.  Very few.

One of the strange things I learned while taking Paxil was the art of bothering.  I just couldn’t leave things alone.  If there was a chip of paint on the wall, I had to pick at it and make it worse.  I constantly messed with my skin.  I was always picking up tiny things off the floor.  I would bother people about why they didn’t want to be my friend, when my behavior was the very reason why.  I bothered them while not seeing that the bothering was the reason.

When I decided to start using the Use What You Have approach to decluttering my house, I made the declaration to not buy nail polish until I used up most of the stash in my nightstand.  But I was upset I couldn’t buy new polish that lasted longer … until I had a brilliant idea to use a gel clear coat as my base coat and then my polish would stay on my nails.

Gina … what the hell does this have to do with leaving stuff alone?

Be patient.

I’m getting there.

So I started using the gel polish as a base coat and then using the polishes I already had as color.  It worked great …. UNTIL … I started messing with it.

I would peel it off from the top.  I would pick at it until it came loose from the sides.  I would sabotage myself and then complain that it didn’t last as long as it should.

It’s been a tough habit to break.

But I’m making progress.  Now when I catch myself touching my nails, I say out loud “Gina … Leave it alone!”  and I do.

The last time I went to the dentist the lady cleaning my teeth asked me if I bite into candy when I eat it.  I thought, “what a strange thing to ask”, but it turns out that doing that wears down your enamel faster and caused problems.  Oooops!  I thought it was just a personality thing, but it turns out that it’s a bad habit.  So now when I eat candy, I leave it alone.  It lasts longer that way and I’m not destroying my teeth (as fast).

I’m now applying the idea to several areas of my life.

When someone else is supposed to get stuff done, I tell myself to leave it alone and let them either do it or not do it.  Either way it isn’t mine to do.

When my husband is in a bad mood, instead of trying to be his cheerleader and make him happier, I leave it alone and let him work it out on his own.

When two people are arguing over something that has nothing to do with me, I leave it alone and let them work it out themselves.

It works for a lot of things.

What things in your life do you just need to leave alone?

Related Posts …

My Use What You Have approach to Decluttering (it’s simple and it works)

How I use the Serenity Prayer to help me on bad days

 


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3 thoughts on “Leave It Alone”

    1. It took me a loooooooooooooooong time to figure out that I didn’t have to be D’s cheerleader. Now when he’s in a bad mood, I just leave him alone and go do something I want to do. It’s a win-win! I don’t end up making him even more mad by bothering him AND I get to do something for myself.

  1. i have to make them contint and happy jjst dont work. i do this i seeing people umhappy but theynever care if i am so i have a hard time leaving sad people alone. by then im angry as my son never happy and going tbe wrong dirrection i never leave a kid alone or behind.

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