The Nest

The Point of Parenting

Over the past few days I’ve become aware of a situation where a mother continues to do things for her grown son … her VERY grown son …. her 35 year old grown son and it’s everything I have not to yell, “HE CAN DO IT HIS DAMN SELF !!!”

The grown son is buying a house…. per his mother’s instructions, because evidently she knows EVERYTHING about his finances.

She called the bank.

She met with the lender.

She met with the appraiser.

She calls the son to make sure that he’s got everything copied and turned in.

She called the lender to make sure that the son turned everything in.

… and on and on and on.

NO!  NO !!  NOOOOOOOOOO !!!

The whole point of parenting is to raise your children so that they can eventually take care of themselves.  I don’t know every single thing about my grown, twenty year old daughter’s life and I don’t need to know, I don’t want to know.  I have my own things to worry about, I don’t need to worry about the things that SHE needs to worry about.  It will be the same way when our oldest boy child moves out.  He will be grown so he can take care of himself.

Here’s the thing …. if you teach a kid to do things for themselves, then they will know how to do things for themselves, but if you always do it for them, then they will always expect you to do it for them.

 


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