Simplify Your Relationships

The ONLY Person You Can Change or Control

There are very few things on this fantabulous planet I enjoy more than reading.

My idea of a perfect day includes spending at least two hours in the tub with a stack of books and magazines (the books and magazines aren’t actually IN the tub … they’d get wet and ruined and I would be sad … the always changing stack sits on a table I bought specifically for that purpose).

My dear husband (known as D) is not a reader AT ALL.  I think the last time he actually read a book was in high school and even that is iffy.

I honestly don’t understand that he doesn’t share my love of the written word, however I don’t share his love of History Channel shows about dried up mummies and underground tunnels.

So reading an article in a popular women’s magazine about how you can manipulate your partner kind of upset me.  Here’s the link … go read it … I’ll wait.

Article about how to “trick” your partner into changing

I seriously cursed out loud while reading it.

The beginning part talks about the wife’s dislike of her husband’s t-shirt collection.  Really?  If that’s the biggest problem in your marriage then you should consider yourself both lucky and blessed.  What does it really matter if he holds on to old, ratty t-shirts?  I collect things like swirl graniteware that I’m sure aren’t D’s favorite things to look at and I can’t imagine how I would feel if he were actively trying to manipulate me into getting rid of my precious collection.

D and I have been through a lot …. I mean aaaaaaaaaaaaa looooooooooooooot and one of the biggest lessons we’ve learned is that we love each other just exactly how we are.

Spending time trying to change or control someone else … anyone else …. only leads to stress and frustration.  We learned that with our “grown” kids, with our coworkers, with each other, etc.

If changing someone is a rule of your relationship, then that’s the wrong relationship or maybe you have the wrong attitude about relationships.

We’re adults and we can only change ourselves and control our own thoughts, attitudes and actions.

Trying to do that for someone else just leads to stress, anxiety and/or depression.

Take the actions you want to take for change.

Control the things YOU think and do.

I guarantee you will be more content with a more simplified life if you can learn THAT “trick”.

Posts Related to Controlling and Changing Yourself …

My Word for 2018 (it’s a good word and I remind myself of it every single day)

More Suggestions for Ways to Simplify Your Life

The Importance of Learning to be Uncomfortable

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