A few months ago I saw a post on social media about people I know taking a trip and I was overcome with the feeling of jealousy. Why wasn’t I invited? Why didn’t they ask me if I wanted to go? I dwelled on it for a few hours and came to the conclusion that they went someplace I don’t even like to go, so why was I having that feeling? D and I go lots of places and we don’t invite people to go with us. We don’t even think about it (which probably says a lot about us). The good time had by those other people at the place I don’t even like didn’t have anything to do with me. Light Bulb!
I was hoping in some snide way to diminish their good time, because I wasn’t a part of it. How selfish and egotistical of me. That’s not something a good person does or even a person trying to be better does. They are entitled to their good time with or without me.
From that point on, I started running moments like that through a “is this really about me?” filter. Most of the time it isn’t. It’s just people living their lives and the vast majority of that has nothing to do with me.
They are just rowing their boats. They don’t need me pointing out the horrible color of their chosen water craft. They don’t need me commenting on how ugly their boating hat is. What they do need is me saying things like “Good job … I’ve never seen the upside down, backwards rowing technique before, but you are SO rocking it!” or “Such a bold color for that boat … some stripes and glitter would really make it stand out!”.
Obviously we aren’t talking about real boats here. We’re talking about life …. and life can be so hard. So if you can’t encourage someone when their rowing their boat the best way they can, then just concentrate on yours. All of our rowing needs some improvement. Row your own boat.
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