Simplify Your Relationships

Shut the Front Door

Are you inviting the wrong people to your life party?

So far this week I’ve heard about three different people being attacked on social media for just living their lives.  I’m not talking about differences of opinion.  I have difference of opinion conversations online all the time and I love them.  These were cruel and calculated attacks for no reason other than to make the other person feel bad so the attacker could feel better about themselves … the definition of bullying.

It started me thinking about who we invite into our lives and who we let stay.

Social media is kind of like having a party at your house … a life party.  Some people you invited in a long time ago and they’ve just hung around.  Some people you just met, but they seem like awesome people who understand your love of baby zebras and roller derby so you invited them in.  Some people support you through everything you do and love you unconditionally, so they are not only invited to the party … they help you plan it, set up, grill the burgers, and even stick around to clean after everyone leaves.

You get to decide how far you let people into your life party.

People you barely know might be allowed as far as the living room.  They can see pics of your dogs and how nice your house is, but they don’t get to know much of the real you … you keep those people in a certain group and they don’t get to see the “best” of your posts.

Friends you’ve known a looooooooong time are welcome into the kitchen and dining room.  They will talk to you about recipes, post funky jokes on your wall or timeline, and are always going to remember that one time in high school when you did that REALLY stupid thing you hope your kids never find out about.

The fun people in your life know the real party is in the backyard.  The music’s playing.  The grill is heating up.  The boxed wine is on ice.  They share funny memes.  They love cat videos.  They invite you to concerts and crazy shows.

The select few … the friends that know you so well you wouldn’t mind them talking to you in the bathroom about that strange rash while you put on your make-up … THOSE rare finds get to know EVERYTHING about you … and they will not tell a soul.

There may be people you’ve allowed into your life party long ago who now don’t belong there at all.  Which was the case with all three of the situations I mentioned.  These were people they thought were friends … people they’ve NEVER done anything to hurt.  They let them in at one point thinking they were going to be great guests at the life party, but now it’s time to kick their asses out and SHUT THE FRONT DOOR behind them … lock it and never make the mistake of letting them back in.

People who are only out to hurt you and offer absolutely no benefit to your life don’t deserve to know you or know anything about you.  YOU ARE AWESOME!  I KNOW YOU ARE!  (unless of course you kick kittens for fun, in that case you are a horrible person and you need some serious therapy)

If you continue to allow the people who want to see you fail, the people who don’t have anything nice to say about you, and the people who are so miserable in their own lives they only know how to project that misery on everyone else to stay in your life party, they are just going to knock over your furniture (bring up your past), eat all your cookies (steal your joy), ruin your favorite blouse (make you feel inferior), smash your dishes (cause stress) and kick your dog (make you cry) … GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE PARTY!

There isn’t enough boxed wine in the world to make those people the life of your party.

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8 thoughts on “Shut the Front Door”

    1. Thank you. It’s part of simplifying and living a more honest life. People who just want to knock us down take up way to much of our emotional energy. We HAVE to let them go for the sake of our sanity.

  1. Far too often we allow the wrong people to try and control our lives and we try and please them and do things we think will make them like us, a long time ago I chose to live my life for me and not worry what others thought of me

    1. That’s exactly the right attitude to have. If people don’t want the best for us, then they aren’t invited to our (life) party.

  2. I love the metaphors, Gina!! Such a perfect comparison. I was just talking to my boyfriend about the people on our social lists a couple hours ago.

    1. Thank you. I think so often we forget that we don’t have to allow people in our lives … in real life and online. We get to choose how much they know about us and how far they are allowed in.

    1. I hear so many people talk about how others treat them and it always makes me wonder “why do you allow them in your life?”

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