3 Simple Changes that Gave Me Peace
1. I stopped watching “The News”
We are all creatures of habit. Our routines, our actions and even our words are sometimes just set to automatic.
For years I spent at least twenty minutes every morning with the morning news on. I would take my make-up bag back to the bedroom, park myself on the bed and absorb the horrific news of the day. It was automatic. Just something I did … until the day I didn’t.
Then I didn’t do it the next day either .. or the next day … or the day after that. Guess what … I didn’t miss it one bit. It’s now been over two years (maybe close to three) since I’ve watched any news program. Not the morning news shows. Not the evening news. Not the late night news. Nothing!
I’ve survived just fine without it. In fact, I’m more peaceful without allowing those negative things in my brain. Some people might call that being uninformed or ignoring the world around me, but I see it as a choice. I choose what I allow in my home so why not choose what I allow in my mind.
I get plenty of information from the world around me and so far there hasn’t been an attack of zombie clown bears with chainsaws I haven’t heard about.
So I think I’ll be just fine.
2. I stopped caring what other people think about me
Don’t worry I didn’t regress into my Paxilated bitch phase. I’m never going back to that level of not caring ever again.
No, this is more about protecting myself from the people who want to see me fail or the people who think they know everything about me.
I’ve developed a small group of people I truly trust. These people are the ones I allow to give me constructive criticism. They’re the ones I can have honest (somewhat blunt) conversations with. They’re the ones I go to when I need real advice about pretty much anything. They’re the inner circle. Their opinions matter to me.
The people in the outer circle are just that. The outer circle. They may have opinions of me, my love of boxed wine, my hobby of finding “good junk” at flea markets and antiques stores, my writing on this site, etc., but their opinions don’t get through the armor I’ve developed.
In fact, when someone tells me that someone has been talking shit about me, I usually tell them “they’ll be in my prayers”. Why? Because that’s pretty much ALL I can do about the situation.
I can’t change other people. I can only change myself. I sure can’t change their opinion of me and to be honest, I wouldn’t even bother trying.
There are plenty of people in the world that aren’t my cup of tea either, but there are plenty of people who are … so I find THOSE people.
3. I stopped caring about what other people are doing
Years ago a Pastor I really liked at a church we used to go to (long story there) gave a sermon about gossip. One of the things he said, that I will remember for the rest of my life is this …
“If you aren’t part of the problem or part of the solution …. THEN STAY OUT OF IT!”
WOW! You should have seen the wide eyed expressions. It was awesome.
During my Paxilated, bat shit crazy days I thought I had to be in everyone else’s business. ALWAYS. I thought I had to be friends with everyone. I thought I knew everything about everything.
I did not.
Learning how to row my own boat, plow my own field, stay in my own lane, and pretty much just mind my own damn business has brought me so much peace.
Even situations with my “grown” children have given me ways to practice this. If they ask for help and genuinely want to help themselves as well, then we are all for giving a hand. Buuuuuut, if they want us to solve a problem for them or they’re in a situation that we really can’t change then we just STAY OUT OF IT!
Are these changes you need to make in your life?
Would not seeing a daily dose of negative change your overall mood?
Would not worrying about what people said about you help your opinion of yourself?
Would you have more time, energy and mental strength for your own situations if you weren’t so vested in what other people are doing?
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