In some ways I’ve probably always been a worrier. It’s something I learned at a very young age from watching and being around my parents. My father had the scarcity mentality that manifested into hoarding, which I now know is a form of anxiety and worry (the fear that I will need something and not have it). My mother was constantly making lists and writing down notes so she’d remember to get everything done, understandable to some extent considering she had four kids and worked full time. I absorbed all of that behavior.
A friend of mine once told me that she never really worried about stuff. WHAAAAAAAAAT? That was the strangest thing in the world for me to hear. If she’d told me she was from another planet it would have been easier for me understand. How could a person not worry?
My worry often takes the form of ruminating; replaying conversations wishing I’d said something different, planning out worse case scenarios in my head, checking and rechecking to make sure things are right.
For me worry was (and is) a learned behavior. I acquired it as a child and taking antidepressants and sleeping pills only made it worse. Strangely I didn’t care about most things when I was on meds, but when my mind started to race it wouldn’t stop.
So why do we do it?
Why do we torment ourselves with worry?
It’s almost like we think by worrying we can control the situation, even though we know we can’t.
I think that’s why I do it. My brain makes me believe that I can change something just by thinking and rethinking and rethinking about it.
It’s something I’m actively working on and these things have really helped (click the links).
Are you a worrier?
Is it keeping you from being content?
Why do you think you do it?
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